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Welcome to my blog!

This is my online journal.  Here you will find more personal aspects of me and my day to day fight with DSS in Missouri, my rants and raves, personal feelings, articles and some photos.
I am also using this as a journal to document phone calls from DSS and others on my fiance's case, what was said etc.  You can never ever have too much documentation! 
Hugs to all....Jennifer.

I'll make changes to this site on a regular basis, sharing news, views, experiences, photos...whatever occurs to me. Check back often!

In this area I'll include links that highlight areas of my weblog. For example, I might include links to my personal favorites or the most popular posts.

Feb 21 / 07:  Well, I am a few days late in posting this to my site.  A lot has been happening this week.  Chelsea and her friend found our site and I am glad, now she has a way to communicate, however long that may last before her mom finds out and stops her.  Sighs...I am really angry tonight.  I could spit nails.
Well, on Sunday I get a call from Chelsea's friend.  Chelsea asked her to call me.  Chelsea has been wanting to talk to us for a long time apparently. ( not according to what DSS said in team meetings and that lying piece of trash, Angela Caraway ) Anyway, her friend told me that Chelsea asked her mom and grandma if she could call her dad ( Ron ).  They blew up at her and told her no, if she does they will punish her and take away her cell phone and disconnect it.  They did not want her talking to her dad ever.  ( Now, isn't there a court order in place that contact and visitation???  )  Ummm...last I knew, but who cares, she never followed it before and no one made her so why would she now?  She plays the victim well and I am sickened by how people just believe everything that comes out of her mouth and ignores the truth.
Chelsea is lucky to have good friends like she does.
About an hour later the girl called me again and Chelsea was there too.  I asked Chelsea about her getting into trouble for calling her dad, she said she didn't care, she has a right to call him.  Well, that is true.  She is a smart girl.
Her friend had to leave.  Chelsea went to her house and talked to me about a lot of things on the way there.  Her mom and Billy have been fighting all week and Billy has been taking it out on Chelsea.  He got so mad that he tried to rip his hoodie down the front, screamed at Chelsea and called her stupid and retarded. 
That pisses me off to no end.  How dare he talk to this child like that or ANY child for that matter.  Why their mom letsthis go on is beyond me.  I'd be kicking his butt out so fast his head would spin!  But then, I obviously care about my kids.
Chelsea had been reading her mom's journal too and there are a lot of disturbing things in there she had written in regards to her family and the kids.  Taking Brandon to her community service work and making him sleep in the car in Dec and getting chewed out by the woman who was her boss for it.  Well, DUH...
How many times does a person have to be warned about something before they GET THE HINT TO STOP?! 
Kayela, Billy and Brandon came home and Chelsea went to her room.  I asked if I should let her go and she said no, she was nervous about a note she left with her mom that said she wanted to live with her dad.  I asked her if this was such a good idea, I was scared for what they would do to her.  She said she doesn't care what they say or think and she's told her mom this many times and I asked what the reply was and she said, her mom said, Oh.  Then ignores her.  Worried, I stayed on with Chelsea.  Her dad was at work. 
Kayela started screaming at Chelsea that she better not be on the phone with her dad and she just knew that was who she was talking to and if she were talking to her dad, she was going to call Chelsea's grandma, Cheryl and Chelsea would be punished and she would get her phone taken and it would get disconnected...ok...keep that last line in mind, because that is EXACTLY what they did the following day.
Chelsea ended up yelling back at them that she had a right to talk to her dad and they couldn't stop her and she was not talking to her dad...ok, really...she wasn't, she was talking to me.  So, she did not lie.  They kept it up, hollering at her, then they would go outside and come in and start in again on her. 
This went on for quite a while and then Brandon came back to her room and screamed at her the same thing Billy and Kayela was and THREATENED TO SLAP CHELSEA IN THE FACE! 
That kid is so out of control and I fear he has prison in his destiny because of being left in this crap.  You know, I have read and gone to many sites and I use to own my own day care.  I have always been interested in children's welfare and rights.  Everything points to abusive homes turning children into children and later as adults with serious mental problems, problems in school, with relationships, anger, hate, and a lot of other issues, so am I just stupid here or why can't anyone else see this?  These are TRAINED professionals with college degrees ( perhaps only in basket weaving ) ?  How can they be so small minded?  Ignore everything and allow this child to act out and do what?  Stick him on drugs that just mask his feelings but don't get to the root of anything?  He has been seeing a counselor for years now and apparently their logic of drugs and hour sessions is the answer, well...hate to say it...obviously it is NOT working!  Time to get off the dead horse and do something right for once for him.  How do they expect him to get better by leaving him in a home like this where he sees violent behavior, manipulation, tantrums every day?  I guess though I don't have some fancy college degree and so therefore...I just MUST be totally wrong.  PUHLEEEEZE!  COMMON SENSE.  It's not that hard to figure out people.
Chelsea became so distraught that she hid under he bed and started really crying hard and uncontrollably.  I felt so bad for her.  She was wailing into the phone, why won't anyone listen to me Jen?  I tell them and tell them and they ignore me.  WHy are they leaving me in this?  Why don't they care?  They all focus on Brandon and ignore me because he has problems but I do too and it's living in this house.  She said she was going to run away.  I told her not to do this because it is dangerous and she could be abducted and hurt or raped.  She said she didn't care, anything was better than being in her house. 
What do you say to something like this??  I hate DSS and that team for putting her in this.  Judge too.  I hope he has no children.  I ask, would they put their children in a home like this or let their children hang out alone with Billy?  I asked them that once in a team meeting, not a SINGLE one of them would answer me...what does that tell you , but they don't care, it's not their children in this mess.  I wish a judge could just make them put their kids in a home like that for ONE week and see how these workers would be just as scared and worried as we are.  But on the second hand, I would not wish that on even my worst enemy.
They threatened to take away her charger and phone and everything else.  Then Brandon had the nerve to get the phone from her and tell me he LOVED ME.  I felt sick.  He needs help badly and is not getting it.  But then again, he has told me in the past and my son too, that his mom makes him say things about us that are bad, but ohhhh...according to Mary Clark, Kayela don't do that...well, Mary don't live there every day, she seen them what...once a week if that?  Geee...I can be an actor too maybe?  The manipulation blows my mind.
This went on and on until after 12:30 a.m.  I was so angry at them.  I cried with Chelsea, she apologized to me for dragging me into it.  I told her she NEVER has to feel bad for this because that is what parents are supposed to do, listen when there are problems and help as much as possible.  Although, I fear I wasn't helping her much, but only to listen to her thoughts and feeling whereas no one but her dad and I and the people who have signed this guest book have.  It is sad when outsiders can see the abuse and be appalled and yet, trained people are ignorant to it, or maybe it is just easier for them to ignore it so they don't have to deal with it?
I read a report we have from Boone County, a worker tells the other worker in an internal e mail that she may as well go do the home visit at Kayela's, at least she will get paid for milage.  What kind of crap is that?  If they don't want to do their bloody job, then go work elsewhere...these are FAMILIES they are supposed to be helping. 
We waited up all night for her to call back, so worried about her.
Next day, at 10am she called us.  She wanted us to come and get her yet again.  She said Billy, Kayela and Brandon left to meet Brandon's TCM.  She asked us to call someone she could talk to about this stuff, she was sick of it all and being in that house.
Ron talked to her too and he said to call back at 11 and he was going to make some calls.  They did end up taking her charger away that night which is why she did not call back.  She sounded so tired but said she was depressed.
Ron called the hotline and did not give his name because of the threats by Christine Steele at DSS that they would press harassment on Ron and I if we called in any more hotlines.
That makes me pissed too because we were not the only ones who called them in, they came in from doctors, police, juvenile officer...Ron and I did not even know about some of these till way later.  Psych and schools.  But they make it sound like we are the only ones who do this...leaving out that others have too.
Ron asked the woman on the phone if Chelsea called, would they talk to her.  They said they were placing it as a referral and not a hotline.  I guess that a child hiding under the bed, screaming and crying isn't enough to warrant a hotline call...just a referral.  Shaking my head here.
We talked to Chelsea, she called us back at 11am and we gave her the number to it and the one to the ombudsman too.
She was going to call us after she was done.  She didn't call and come to find out from her later, her mom and grandma did exactly what they said they were going to do...they disconnected her phone so she would have no way to call us or anyone else.  Chelsea called us from her friend's home but could only talk a short time.
Sheriff's dept never responded to our calls either and the messages we left for them to call us.  Go figure.  They were out on patrol and they said they didn't know how to file a protective order since the court house was not open. 
We have not heard from Chelsea all day today.  I am worried.  well, yesterday as it is now past midnight...
I hope these people are ashamed of themselves and I hope that they finally listen to her but I doubt it.  they protect her mom and step dad..for some reason.  I'd like to know why.  So would a lot of other people. 
my heart goes out to those kids, especially Chelsea who has no one at all but children her own age and it is so sad that a child can see abuse and an adult can't recognize it.
Sighs...good night Chelsea wherever you may be honey and I hope you are safe and have not been hurt...but I know you are hurting emotionally and mentally.  I love you honey and we are trying to help you at your request.
Love, Jen

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Never Give Up Hope